Report to the Agency:

      I recently heard from my uncle Duke who is a former navy dog currently retired to a very charming farm in Louisiana. He has been reading some of my messages to The Agency, and he wanted to point out that my family background is more catahoula hound than beagle. I must confess that it came as a surprise to me that I had ANY catahoula hound in my genetic makeup at all! In fact, I had never heard of catahoula hounds until Duke mentioned it and sent along a couple of pictures. If, however, he is right – and I suspect he is – the catahoula part of me would certainly explain my extraordinary intelligence, good looks and modesty. To paraphrase what one of the web sites about catahoulas mentions, we are almost prescient in our ability to read people’s emotions, anticipate their intentions, and plan a decent menu. Also known as leopard hounds because of our attractive spots – of which I have depressingly few – catahoula hounds are extraordinary in their ability to climb trees in the hound for prey – and by “prey,” I assume they mean sweet potato French fries, one of my favourite food groups… 



My Uncle Duke - Commander (hon. HMS Ret.)



Uncle Duke as a young pup. It's like
looking in a blotchy mirror...

Initially I was very concerned that I might suffer something of an identity crisis when hearing the news from Uncle Duke. Upon careful reflection, however, I realized that given the uncertain genetic background of all of us, knowing I am more beagle/catahoula than beagle/Aussie Shepard can only serve to help me enhance my already finely tuned tree-climbing, cat-tracking and human training abilities.

As always,

Faithfully yours,

M3.

Report to the Agency:
I must apologize for the long absence in my reporting, but I am confident that you will understand my reasons once I explain. As you know better than most, the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middelton has been one of the most important events to come to the Royal Family in many years, and one of the top concerns of their Majesties, MI5, Scotland Yard and Interpol has been the security of all concerned. When I received the call a few months ago that my service were needed, and that my mission would be top secret until after the ceremony I was, of course, immediately ready to serve. The problem was simple enough: While Her Majesty the Queen and Prince Phillip and their extensive staff were at the ceremony at Westminster Abby, somebody had to guard the Royal Corgies. I confess that at first I was not thrilled by an assignment that initially appeared to be glorifies puppy-sitting, but once it was explained to me by the head of the K9 unit – also known as the Alsatian Guard, even though the force is largely made up of English bulldogs - that I and C1 would be exclusively responsible for the safety of Her Majesty's favourite dogs, I accepted the assignment proudly.
More about this later. And next time I will detail my attempt to stop Princess Beatrice from wearing as a hat - or "fascinator" what was actually intended to be a toy treat for the Royal Corgies.
Yours, as always.
Facinated,

M3