Report to The agency: M3 picks up.

Report to The agency: M3 picks up.

I’m sorry I have not sent in a report in a while. I’ve been having a very difficult time of trying to decipher messages from The Agency because I have been getting what I thought were conflicting messages – some new, some old, some related to my assignment, and some apparently completely unrelated to anything.

Today I finally figured out what it was. As you know, messages are sent to me in a variety of ways. Some come from The Guardian, others – and the most regular ones – are the ones that I pick up from the ground when I take my humans for a walk. Some of the messages are hidden under bushes, others near rocks, trees or by mailboxes or fire hydrants. In order for me to understand what my assignment for the week is, it’s terribly important that I pick the messages up, take them home, and then sort them into the right order.

Unfortunately, the humans – not mine, of course, but others – have a strange and annoying habit of leaving bits of paper and coffee cups and other trash all over the place. Since many of these smell a lot like the messages I get from The Agency, I pick up as many as I can and bring them home to sort them out, and that’s where the confusion comes! Instead of getting something like “Be sure to check if The Guarding is watching the children at the school crossing.” I get “Horton’s Snickers Maltesers at Domino’s Pizza in a Starbucks cup.” What am I to make of that?

Please help. We need to get the message out to the humans to stop littering – it makes the work of secret beagle agents very difficult!

As always, I remain,

M3