Report to The Agency: M3 in The Great Escapes.

Report to The Agency: M3 in The Great Escapes.

As per my basic training during my early days with The Agency, I decided a few days ago to test the security of the perimeter of my new headquarters. My adopted owners are remarkably trusting, and during a moment of distraction when the male let go my leash, I seized the moment to make a break for freedom.

The look on his face was most interesting as he tried to look nonchalant while stepping slowly toward my dragging leash – it was rather like fishing, I thought.

I, of course, waited ‘till the last second, and then using the lightning reflexes honed during my many hours of Dog Fu training, especially the Downward Human move, I flashed past him and out to the sidewalk where my inner compass indicated where I could find the deepest snowdrift to jump over as I headed down the street.

My human was lumbering along most pathetically, trying to call out my name while at the same time not attract the attention of the neighbours. He tripped and plunged into the snow bank, just at the same time as one of the neighbours rolled down the window in her van and told him that I went “that way!”

I had to wait several minutes in a neighbour’s back yard for him to catch up, looking like an angry Yeti, and when he was just about upon me I sped between his legs and back out to the sidewalk again, spraying him with wet snow as I did.

He said a great many unkind words using very large vowels which I couldn’t possibly repeat here.

When it was clear that he was unable to keep up, and I had run several circles around him many blocks from our home, I allowed him to “catch” me.

You would have thought he would have been happier to see me.

Anyway, a couple of days later I tried the same on the female, who, as it turned out, was much more determined to catch me, and dove into several mud puddles and heaps of slushy snow in an effort to catch my leash.

She did not appear to see the humour in the exercise, and is now making me sit at every street corner, even when the ground is frozen, which I find almost as undignified as leaping into the mud after a dog’s leash.

As Shakespeare’s dog said: “Lord, what fools these humans be.”

Yours Truly
M3

Cat-napping (pardon the expression) after the Great Escapes