Report to the Agency: That Time of Year.

Riding out the holidays

December 17/2009
Report to The Agency:
The weather has changed dramatically over the past few weeks from pleasant and warm to beastly cold. The frost is making it increasingly difficult for agents everywhere to follow tracks and collect clues and messages. Poor beagle agent C1, who is still fairly new to all this, is still trying to pick up every message she comes across, not realizing that the cold destroys much of the content before we can get to it. C1 is working very hard to do her work, indeed there are times when I wonder if she is not trying a little too hard - she has her nose to the ground so much I sometimes forget what the lower half of her face looks like.
Our humans and their friends are getting ready for one of their many seasonal celebrations. While agents everywhere are curled up on pillows or on that lovely, fluffy piece of furniture the humans call the Baddog Geddown and sleeping as much as possible, preferably close to fireplaces or other forms of heat, our humans are rushing about in the freezing cold, buying presents for each other and having dinners and meeting other humans for drinks, usually on nights when it is especially cold and blustery, and all sane creatures are tucked away in their crates or on their favourite blankets.
There are very few things beagle agents and cats agree on, but we do agree that at this time of year the lack of warmth and sunshine cause humans to lose their minds.
One of the cats who lives here with us is called Leaveit! and he tells us that for as long as he has been with these humans - some 12 years or more now - they have had this seasonal disorder that drives them out of doors to flock to malls like migrating trumpet swans to spend money like it grew on trees to buy toys for each other - all of which are called DROPPIT! Then they eat like sled dogs and curl up in front of their moving picture windows and snore like English bulldogs - it’s all terribly unseemly.
But I have been promised by Leaveit! That soon the days will get longer and the humans will grow normal again and then the world will restore the proper order of things where beagle agents can once more pick up messages and leave them in dignified peace and quiet.
Oh, and I also learned that the best way to deal with humans at this time of year is to wish them happy holidays. So happy holidays everybody!
As ever,
Agent M3